Prayer for the Dead

I've been a member of the Outings&Adventures Men's Book Club for a while now.  It gives me the chance to read some good books, and to have academic discussions over dinner with some men who have become friends.  Every so often, a passage or phrase stands out and to me, is profound.  For this month, our selection is 'Secret Anniversaries of the Heart' by Lev Raphael.  It is a collection of 25 stories. The title comes from Longfellow: 

The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart.


Kirkus Reviews writes:  "Offering heartfelt evocations of Jewish and gay identity, this collection is a bittersweet rendering of a complex culture. . . . Concerned ultimately with the struggle for love both human and divine, these are searing stories."


In one story, the Kaddish, or Prayer for the Dead, is mentioned.  And in the service mentioned in the story, this paragraph stood out for me:


" 'I've learned that in the course of life we leave and are left and let go of much that we love.  Losing is the price we pay for living.  It is also the source of much of our growth and gain.  Making our way from birth to death, we also have to make our way through the pain of giving up, and giving up, and giving up some portion of what we cherish.' "


That rings so true.  Because of the recent past and the changes in my life and in my family's lives, I've also learned that there is much growth and joy in the present and in the memories yet to come.  The words from 'Both Sides Now' come to mind:


"Something's lost but something's gained in living every day."


L'chaim!!!